Thanks For Ruining it

So I was going to blog on Sunday but alot of stuff happened that was just out of my control. My life has hit a new low and there just isn't anything I can do. I went to work on Sunday suppose to work open to close. Little did I know that night I would be walking out and on so close to losing my job. So I spent the first half of my day hosting. It was alright we had so many parties coming in and no where to seat them. People were getting mad, but what can you do, we are one of the smallest Olive Garden buildings. Well we were just ending the wait around 2 when an 11 people walked in. So I went off to look for a place to seat them. We just started phasing people so they could go on break, so I knew that it would be fun. Just kidding. I just found a spot and was going up to the host stand to tell the other hostess where they were going. We both stood there while the table was getting cleaned off by a busser, when a couple walked in. I looked at the lady and then had to take a second, third, and fourth glance to see that it was my egg donor!!! I took off to the back, running through the kitchen, shaking, and not being able to catch a breath at all. I made it to the manager's office where I just fell to the ground crying. I feel bad for Don who was just on the computer doing some work. I told him she was out there and he shut the door to talk to me. I gave him a quick run through, that didn't even last more than 30 sec before I was saying that I was wanting to call my mom. He then walked out of the office and I went on calling her. I feel bad all so for my dad, who answered the phone to me crying and saying that I wanted to talk to mom. Got to talk to her for a little bit, honestly the rest happened so fast. I just know that I was not ready to see her. I just wanted to know why after me working at Olive Garden for 2 and a half years did she walk in after she tried talking to me. I didn't want to see her. I hate her for doing that, even if she didn't know. All I wanted to do was walk out there to ask her "so is this another child molester?" or to say to the guy "so what have you been to jail for". She really pisses me off cause she tells everyone that she has changed but yet she is back with another guy already!!! Yeah right. I hate it cause I can't get her image out of my head. I can't help but to walk into my job now and think about her walking in without a care!!! Its like she has gotten her way, she can walk around single and living a free life all because she is white trash and just didn't know how to pick her family first. All because she was sooooo rapped up in getting some dick then to take care of her kids. Well I'm glad that she gets to live that life so that when the guy wants to meet her side of the family, she can look at him and say "sry they don't talk to me cause I'm a screw up and i gave my kids away!!!!" After she left OG i went out to finish my hosting shift,thinking that everything was going to be fine. Wrong!!!! It seemed like every table I went to knew that something was wrong with me. They either left a hefty tip or left a little $2 tip. My last couple of tables seemed like I couldn't do anything right. It the middle of all of that, my best friend and I got into it cause it seems like the whole world has got to be around her. She thinks that her life is the most dramaful ever and that everyone should listen to her and she not have to listen to anyone else. So great I lose a friend. Well there goes having your friends to help you through drama!! Well after my last table got mad about some stupid salmon, i went to the back to flip out on the worthless kitchen person. He is soooo annoying cause he is a smart ass and he thinks that he is just sooo much better than everyone else. Well he isn't perfect if I know what he did to fuck the salmon up. So I went on to tell my manager who is just sitting down having a good old time not being a manager about what happened. Well we got into it and a hour later I was on my way out the door. I think within a two hour period I cried about 4 times. So I just came home to walk to the door and before I knew it Bear was out the door. So I didn't mind letting him out to go pee. Well I came back in with him long enough to tell Tim that I was leaving in 5 minutes to go get something to eat so that he would get off his game. Went to the bedroom to try to get out of my work clothes when I walked back into the living room to see Bear chewing on one of the cats toys. That just set my off. I went on a wild hitting rampage then pushed Bear. Tim starting yelling at me. And i slipped on my flip flops and was out the door, driving away. I went to Shorty's parking lot which is kidda behind my apartment and just sat in the car crying for half an hour. Oh did I mention that earlier on my phone had crashed. Literally so I guess nobody knew this till now but Palm Centros after awhile just will crash and never turn back on. So I was sitting at Shorty's also without a phone. After awhile I went back to the apartment and just sat in the parking lot for about 10 minutes before Tim took Bear back outside to go to the bathroom. We talked for a minute and then went to McDonalds to get something to eat. I went to bed that night at 11, which is early for me. I wish I could say the same about today. Its 3:19 in the morning and I can't get to sleep cause I'm too busy thinking about everything. That goes down as one of the worst days of my life. Not only do I have all that crap, but now I've got to find a house buy March, now I'm transferring to Bloomington OG, and got to worry that Tim and I can have all the stuff for the baby went it gets here. I feel like I just want to lay in bed and not ever get up. I just wish that none of this could have happened. I'm starting to realized that I'm not happy. I'm tired of putting on this face to cover everything up!!! I'm just hopeing that when the baby gets here that I will feel happy. Well I got alot of things off my chest, so I guess blogging is a good thing. I just know that I would never tell any of this to anyones face so its good that the internet is her to listen. Thanks!